Vengeance is HIS, not MINE

“Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves...for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.” — Romans 12:19

That verse appeared while I was scrolling TikTok one night last week. The timing couldn't have been better.

During the final months of my dad's life in 2023, a man took around $2,000 from him. I discovered it after someone called me about several checks Dad had written. When I confronted Dad, he became furious and told me that what he did with his money was none of my business.

A week later, I rushed him to the hospital. Thirty-one days later, he died from cancer we didn't even know he had.

After Dad died, every time I saw that man walking past our house, anger consumed me, and I confronted him harshly. I had pure hatred in my heart. I wanted revenge. I wanted Dad's money back, and I wanted this man to pay.

As the years passed, I stopped confronting him. If we made eye contact, I'd even call him by name and speak. But inside, that resentment remained.

Then last week something changed.

Driving home, I passed him walking along the road carrying various things. He looked dirty and worn down. His eyes were sunken. I don't know his circumstances, and I won't label him an addict, but it was obvious he was struggling.

For the first time, I didn't see the man who took my father's money.

I saw a suffering human being.

It was almost as if the Lord said, “Look at him.”

For years I wanted to make him pay. Suddenly, I realized I didn't need to. Whatever battles this man is fighting, his life appeared filled with pain and torment. I had been so blinded by anger that I couldn't see it.

And, honestly, I felt sorry for him.

That night, Romans 12:19 appeared on my phone. I watched it over and over, thinking about what I had seen.

It took me three years to understand something Scripture had already told me: revenge was never my responsibility.

When someone hurts us, particularly someone we love, our first instinct may be to react. Mine certainly is. But anger can keep us from seeing another person as a human being.

Sometimes we need to stop. Think. And, most importantly, pray for guidance.

I'm sharing this because maybe you're carrying something similar. Someone wronged you. Someone hurt your family. Maybe you've imagined the day they finally get what they deserve.

Let it go.

We don't have to seek revenge. We don't have to become mean or vile because someone treated us badly. We can choose patience, compassion and forgiveness — not because what happened was acceptable, but because hatred shouldn't control the rest of our lives.

Jesus gave us an even harder instruction:

“Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you.” — Matthew 5:44

I can't change what happened to Dad.

But I can change what I carry in my heart.

And maybe forgiveness sets down a burden we were never meant to carry.